Filling It In

Ok, so I was just going back over my blog and there are some major gaps. I'm gonna fill a little bit in so it makes more sense. Here we go: I resigned from my job last Novemeber, right after having the twins in August to be with the twins' daddy. I spent time in Florida and Virginia, until I decided things just weren't gonna work out and I packed up and came home with the twins and my girls. It was a hectic trip, but I am SO glad to be back. So I'm back on island, single again and happy. When I was gone, I realized just how good I had it here. Great job, great weather, great friends. I've decided this is home and although I reserve the right to jump on a plane and go to Australia or some random place once in a while, Saipan will stay home for a very long time. So... Saturdays with Elle? Yeah, that's my fun time FOR ME! You are welcome to join me if you're interested. It's gonna be FUN!!! WOOHOO!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

52 Saturdays with Elle

Ok, so it's been a while. Let's keep it simple and say "I've been busy." So, I have this idea in my head and am working it into reality, slowly but surely. Wanna hear it? Ok. I'm making a list. The list (once completed) will have a minimum of 52 things I wanna do while I am in the CNMI. Why 52? Because there are 52 Saturdays (or weekends) in a year and I want to do something JUST FOR ME at least ONCE a week. Saturdays are my favorite days, so... there you go. I'm nearly done with the list, so I will keep you updated once I begin. That's the plan, anyways ;-). If you have any ideas for me (I got stuck at 31), please send them my way!!!
Much Love.
Always.
Elle

Eat Hearts for Valentines Day!

Nope, you didn't misread the title. Let me start at the beginning...


Valentines Day 2010. The Hunny tells me he's taking me to this little Peruvian restaurant for Valentines Day. Oh, and our neighbor is going to watch the twins! I'm excited! It will be only the second "date" we've had without the twins since I've been here (the U.S. that is - more on that later).

Alisha & Carlos

(Took this picture a month ago - aren't they gorgeous?)

So I scramble and get ready as quickly as possible - hunny says he's gonna play a WHOLE game on the PS3 while I get ready because it takes me "several HOURS to get ready!" LOL. I think he might have been right...

(Me trying to get ready... looking ROUGH!)

So we get to this restaurant, and automatically, the waitress starts speaking to me in Spanish (I think). Um... do I look like I speak Spanish?

Ok, maybe I do look a little like I should be able to speak it... but No habla espanol! I mean not really. I took a Spanish class when I was in Hawai'i years ago and I watch a bit of Dora with my 4 year-old Kata (or at least I pretend I'm watching), but certainly not enough to actually have anything resembling a conversation with anybody.

Anyway, she seats us at our table and hands us the menus. I scroll down, thinking everything sounds very...interesting. And then, I reach number 20.

If you didn't eat your carrots as a child, I will reiterate what the menu says:

"20. Anticuchos - Heart cow marinated in vinegar with special aji panca served with potatoes."

Translation:

"Heart cow... with blah blah blah (don't know what the heck the rest of the ingredients were) and potatoes."

It nearly put a stop to MY heart! I couldn't stop laughing and I asked the Hunny "Is this FOR REAL?" I couldn't tell if he was laughing because it was even on the menu or if he was laughing at my reaction to seeing it on there. Probably both ;-).

Now, I know it's Valentines Day, and I REALLY should have eaten a heart on Heart Day, but I just couldn't do it. I got the fried rice with chicken - I know. Boring and unoriginal. But it was MUY DELICIOSO! YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!!!!

Happy Heart Day Y'all!
Love. Always.

Elle

Sunday, February 14, 2010

MAAAAN!

My niece, Isabel was telling us jokes in the car today, and her brothers Isaiah (second grader) and Goru (third grader) were listening good naturedly while she told us her jokes. Here's one she shared with us (as best as I can remember):

ISABEL: There were these three guys and God told them that they couldn't step on the pink cloud or else they would end up married to somebody very ugly for the rest of there lives. So the first guy steps on the pink cloud and he ends up with a really ugly girl. Then, the next guy, Isaiah, steps on the pink cloud...
ISAIAH: Maaaaan! Not me!
ISABEL: Shut up, Isaiah. Isaiah steps on the...
ISAIAH: But I don't want to be the bad guy...!
ISABEL: Shut UP, Isaiah. He steps on...
ISAIAH: I wanna be the GOOD guy! Make GORU step on the PINK CLOUD!
GORU: Hehehe.
ISABEL: FINE! Now SHUT UP Isaiah! So, one day GORU stepped on the pink cloud and he ends up with an very ugly girl...
ISAIAH: HEEEHEEEHEEE!
GORU: Hehehe.
ISABEL: After a while, the first two guys noticed that ISAIAH ends up with a very pretty girl...
ISAIAH: HEEEHEEHEE!
ISABEL: So they ask God, "Hey, how come Isaiah gets to be with a PRETTY girl?
ISAIAH: HEEEHEEEHEEE!
ISABEL: And Gods says, "No, wait. You don't understand. The girl he's with...SHE stepped on the pink cloud."
ISAIAH: HEEHEE...What? So I'M the ugly guy?
ISABEL: YUP!
GORU: HAHAHAHA!
ISAIAH: MAAAAAN....!!!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Good men and Evil

Oh, what a strange few days. I've been thinking about this quote that I've always liked. It's attributed to Edmund Burke and it goes "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Ain't that the truth? LOL.
Some knuckleheads are trying to bash the Rayphand name. Pfffbbbtt! It's ok though, they don't know any better. Politics... gotta love it... or not ;-). I think we're pretty humble people (for the most part), we come from humble backgrounds, and we know our roots. Most of us just want to do something good in life and sometimes, a few of us get thrown under the bus in another person's effort to find a scapegoat. Nothing new or unusual about that. Part of it makes me sad, and another part makes me happy. People are in search of justice - how awesome is that? Problem is, they're looking in all the wrong places and doing it an all the wrong ways... Oh, well.
So, like a dummy, I initially jump in to defend my name... my family's name. But the thing is, I really don't have to. I know what I am, and what my family stands for. I'm proud to be a Rayphand, with all that that entails. All the good, all the bad, and all the ugly. Life is pretty good where I'm sitting. I just wish people would find their "peaceful place" and live their lives. What's that saying? Live... and let live? Yeah, I gotta let them live. I think I'll be just fine ;-D.

MUCH LOVE, PEOPLE. ALWAYS ;-).

Elle

Sunday, November 1, 2009

WHAT'S Contagious?!

Hunter (my six year old): Daddy said I have the pink eye and so I'm sick.

Me: That's right, baby.

Hunter: But I'm not really sick I just have a pink EYE.

Me: Well, you can't go to school tomorrow. Pink Eye is contagious and if you go to school, the other students are gonna get it.

Kata (my three year old): Yeah, and you're gonna make THEM ugly too!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Do I Believe in God?

Do I believe in God? The short answer is, "yes."
I believe in God, but I have my own version of who God is. I believe God is all good and not that judmental ball of fire some people believe Him to be. I mean, He did create us. Who, if not Him, would understand the extent of our limitations and be forgiving of them? I envision him as a gentle guide, there when we need Him, but reluctant to "meddle" in our lives otherwise - I imagine He is much like my mother, only with James Earl Jones' voice.
I believe God made us, but I don't believe He made us out of dirt. I believe He started it all - the Big Bang or whatever you want to call it, and I believe we did evolve over a gazillion years. I don't understand what the big to-do is over this "debate," I mean, we are STILL evolving now. Each generation is generally smarter, and more capable (physically, mentally, etc.) than the previous generations, so if you work backwards, it is conceivable that we came from thick-skulled, less agile ancestors. Makes sense to me.
I am skeptical of the Bible because people wrote it, and by that I mean "Traditional Men" who had the ability to write but whose perceptions were tainted by prejudices against women, homosexuals, etc. I don't believe God wants women to be subservient to men, just as I don't believe He intended men to be subservient to women. I certainly don't believe He had a thing against homosexuals, because he sure created a lot of them - both in the human species and the rest of the animal kingdom. Variety is good and I believe God is a master artist. I DO appreciate the Bible as an ATTEMPT at recording an unrecordable story, for after all, how can you write accurately about things you don't completely understand?
I believe in Heaven, I also believe in reincarnation. I believe Heaven is a resting place with Him, a transit station of sorts, if you will, but a peaceful spa-like one. I don't believe in Hell - at least not the traditional one which is a place of eternal inferno. I believe Hell is a state of being - we've all been there, right? - a place we often bring ourselves when we do not lead a life of "goodness" and love. The entrance to hell is a revolving door - walk yourself in, and walk yourself out... not as SIMPLE as that, but you get the gist.
And lastly, I don't believe "He" is a he. I don't believe "He" is a she either. "He" is asexual, but to call Him an "It" would be demeaning, and so I use the term "He" loosely... just because.
I could go on and on, but I won't. The point is, I might not necessarily believe what everybody else believes, but I DO believe in something bigger than life itself. I believe in goodness and in love. I don't see anything wrong with that... do you?
Love. Always.
Elle

Friday, September 25, 2009

What 8 Year Olds Talk About in the Lunchroom

Overheard this in the school cafeteria today. It was a conversation between two third grade boys and I'm still undecided as to what to think about the content. I was shocked to be sure, but at the same time, I couldn't help but want to laugh out loud. I didn't of course...

Boy 1: My mom says I can't have a girlfriend until I'm 18 or older.
Boy 2: Hey! You said we all have to have girlfriends when we're in the third grade!
Boy 1: And what? You have one?
Boy 2: Yup... but it's a boy.
Boy 1: HAH! LESBIAN!

They both had a good laugh and went about their business as usual. I couldn't figure out if they were joking or serious. They reminded me of my brothers when they tease each other and laugh about it. But to see it in such young boys threw me. It just shocks me every year when I get students that KNOW so much about things I never did at that age. Listen to me. I remember my elders saying the same thing to us when we were kids. "When I was your age..."
*Sigh* I'm getting old.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

"A Gentle Breath of Heaven"

"Every now and then,
When the world sits just right,
a gentle breath of Heaven
fills my soul with delight..."
~Hazelmarie ‘Mattie’ Elliott, A Breath of Heaven

This quote makes me think of:

that sudden sweet breeze right before the rain...

the secret smiles that lights up my babies' faces while they sleep...

the steam rising from a loaf of fresh baked bread...

that papery scent of unopened Christmas presents...

the sound of a frothy wave smoothing out the wrinkles in the sand...

and the way the setting sun paints everything golden honey before it sinks into its watery grave...

There have been so many beautiful moments in my life. I wonder, how many of these moments I have missed dwelling on sadness, anger, pain, and "what could have beens."

As time goes on, I become more aware (or, to be more accurate, I've been reminded) of my own mortality... much like that cool gust of wind before the rain, it fills me with hope... and sadness, simultaneously.

Hopeful - that my beliefs will be validated and that there really is more to come... an end perhaps to a desert-like existence (in comparison to what will be, anyway), and the beginning of a new life more akin to that snapshot in the back of our minds of that ideal existence we constantly compare our current life to.

Sadness, though, because at some point, I fell in love with this ugly-beautiful life I awkwardly and clumsily stumbled through. There were just enough "breaths of heaven" along the way to keep me going, and now that I'm actually at the pinnacle or plateau, I would love the time to just sit and enjoy the view for a little while longer.

Whether it is time for me to "descend into the valley" to welcome the rain will be determined relatively soon...

But for now, my soul is filled with:

the sounds of my children's laughter...

the happy memories with my family...

the companionship of my friends...

the love and trust of a good man...

and an opportunity in each new day - another chance to convince myself - that maybe, just maybe, my life may have been important for something... maybe even someone. Another chance to paint something golden...

Love. Always.

Elle

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Twins Are Here!

After 38 weeks, Carlos and Alisha are finally here!

Alisha (left) and Carlos (right)

Carlos (left) and Alisha (right) with sisters, Alexa and Liekeila'akata (in pink)

Welcome to the world, my angels.

Love Always,

Mommy

Saturday, August 15, 2009