"Every now and then,
When the world sits just right,
a gentle breath of Heaven
fills my soul with delight..."
~Hazelmarie ‘Mattie’ Elliott, A Breath of Heaven
This quote makes me think of:
that sudden sweet breeze right before the rain...
the secret smiles that lights up my babies' faces while they sleep...
the steam rising from a loaf of fresh baked bread...
that papery scent of unopened Christmas presents...
the sound of a frothy wave smoothing out the wrinkles in the sand...
and the way the setting sun paints everything golden honey before it sinks into its watery grave...
There have been so many beautiful moments in my life. I wonder, how many of these moments I have missed dwelling on sadness, anger, pain, and "what could have beens."
As time goes on, I become more aware (or, to be more accurate, I've been reminded) of my own mortality... much like that cool gust of wind before the rain, it fills me with hope... and sadness, simultaneously.
Hopeful - that my beliefs will be validated and that there really is more to come... an end perhaps to a desert-like existence (in comparison to what will be, anyway), and the beginning of a new life more akin to that snapshot in the back of our minds of that ideal existence we constantly compare our current life to.
Sadness, though, because at some point, I fell in love with this ugly-beautiful life I awkwardly and clumsily stumbled through. There were just enough "breaths of heaven" along the way to keep me going, and now that I'm actually at the pinnacle or plateau, I would love the time to just sit and enjoy the view for a little while longer.
Whether it is time for me to "descend into the valley" to welcome the rain will be determined relatively soon...
But for now, my soul is filled with:
the sounds of my children's laughter...
the happy memories with my family...
the companionship of my friends...
the love and trust of a good man...
and an opportunity in each new day - another chance to convince myself - that maybe, just maybe, my life may have been important for something... maybe even someone. Another chance to paint something golden...
Love. Always.
Elle
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